Read Articles About Individual Therapy and Its Benefits:

April 26, 2021 by Virgil Roberson

Navigating the Journey from Acquiescence to Acceptance

By Virgil Roberson, L.P., M. Div., NCPsyA, Executive Director

During the past year, all of us have been forced to reckon with life as it is, rather than as we would like it to be. Some people have dealt more successfully with that challenge than others.

Some clients have been able to adjust to their new circumstances, even when it has involved significant loss; they’ve struggled through their emotions, whether grief, anger, or resentment, and have found acceptance. Many have shown admirable resilience by reinventing their business models, finding inventive ways to remain in touch with family and friends, and seeking creative outlets despite social distancing.

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September 22, 2015 by Virgil Roberson

Building on the Foundation of Individual Therapy Through Group Therapy

Have you experienced studying with a teacher and then gone out into the world to be pleasantly surprised by your progress and improved skills? It’s always rewarding to see hard work pay off. Likewise, the discoveries made, when moving from individual therapy to group therapy, provide unlimited opportunities for growth. These lessons bring positive change into all our relationships – whether they be with friends, family, co-workers, health, finances or any of life’s daily myriad issues.

As we learn from individual therapy – the ego can present us with some pretty tough challenges. Put a group of egos together and the learning possibilities multiply with each encounter. And what is the ego but our false ideas about ourselves projected from our minds out into our world of relationships? Conveniently, group therapy provides a vast array of our projections ready to be observed, explored, examined and finally, released. As we come face to face with many mirrors of our unloving thoughts staring back at us, the group becomes the laboratory wherein we test and apply the knowledge we’ve gained in individual therapy.

Group Therapy as Classroom For Learning

Thus, the decision to change our minds about ourselves as victims – and others as victimizers – may be swiftly accommodated in the “classroom” of group therapy. In individual therapy we learn to love ourselves – make peace with ourselves. In group therapy, we extend that love and peace, advancing the healing of our minds as we see others from this new perspective.

That is the goal – to change our minds – our perspective. The pain that comes from judging ourselves and others becomes too much to bear. Relief from pain drives our motivation. Through group therapy, we practice how to stop the pain, the judgments, and fear based decisions. We come to realize that we make a choice to love ourselves through loving others. What we give to them – acceptance, peace, love – or anger and blame, we receive ourselves. We can face our darkest shadows and emerge unscathed and whole again. The group becomes a place where we can accept, with true empathy and compassion, the pleas of others for that same mercy and love we all desire. As the group reflects our choices back to us, we learn to empower ourselves with the strength of our decisions. Consequently, we grow in understanding and take responsibility for our own lives.

Group Therapy as Process to Practical Living

Ultimately, we want to accept ourselves and others in a truly, loving kind way. Group therapy moves the process from an intellectual understanding to the practical application within real relationships.

We seek to uncover the peace within our minds so that we can bring it with us into every situation and relationship. Group therapy provides a setting where one can question and examine the thoughts that block this peace. Working together with others allows the unfolding of social, intellectual and emotional exchanges – in a non-judgmental, safe environment. We can think of group therapy as a progressive step that leads to our ultimate, happy goal – the “Real Self” – the one we’ve always been searching for.

Photo credit: Nicholas Swanson

August 28, 2014 by Virgil Roberson

How You Can Overcome Your Addictions Through Counseling

Trying to understand and overcome addiction on your own can be a very slippery slope. In addition to the seemingly endless forms of addiction – food, drugs, sex, gambling, shopping, alcohol – there appears to be an equally infinite number of ways that addictions can wreck havoc in our lives. Like a pebble tossed into a pond, the ripples spread out further and further, encompassing various aspects of family life, friendships, work, attitudes, physical health, stability, security, finances, psychological well being, and on and on until it seems impossible to put life back on track, reign in the terror, ease the pain and restore a peaceful life. But it can be done – and addiction counseling makes it possible.

The Cost of Addiction

Addiction Counseling can take many paths to wellness. Certainly the benefits to addiction counseling can be seen in lives turned around as your hope for happiness is restored. Addiction counseling assists you in looking specifically at the effects and connections of addictions to your neurobiology, brain chemistry, sugar balance, stress and depression levels, cravings, weight management, sleep habits, cognition and other possible side effects involving unhealthy addictions.

Getting at the Roots of Addiction

Addiction counseling strives to get at the root of addictions – the painful thoughts behind the negative, destructive and attacking behaviors and actions that only appear to be out of your control. The underlying thoughts often include guilt, false ideas, shame, neediness, abuse, self-hatred, anxiety, depression, fear, obsession, control issues, as well as, feelings of isolation, lack, insecurity, confusion, dependence and discomfort.

Acquiring the Tools Needed

Counseling for addiction provides the tools needed to create the inner change of mind that is necessary to manifest and achieve both the inner and outer changes required to live the life you truly aspire to. Addiction counseling puts the keys to happiness and satisfaction back in your own hands reclaiming the control you had given to many outside forces that only seemed to have authority over your life choices and decisions.

Question Beliefs

Psychotherapy for addiction helps you step back and examine what is really being sought, as well as, how and where it is being sought. Then, together with a non-judgmental therapeutic presence – you can question the validity of beliefs surrounding the likelihood of achieving these goals and truly finding what is sought after. In this way, addiction counseling can get to the root of underlying causes for addictive habits which merely cover over the deeper problems that need healing and resolution.

Making Healthy Choices

Addiction counseling makes it possible to actually find what you are looking for, clearly determine and define what that is, and discover how to make the right choices. A centered, loving, healthy, secure, peaceful state of mind is the goal that can be accomplished in addiction counseling. Counseling for addiction helps you choose for yourself, rather than against yourself, away from pain, rather than towards it, opening the way for the peace you deserve and realizing the power of your own decisions. An aspect of that decision making comes into play with actions taken to break the chains of addiction.

Addiction counseling may be effectively supplemented by joining an appropriate support group –

It may involve finding a group in which to do the 12 Step program, choosing a sponsor, attending more than one group at times – for example, when it applies – AA and Alanon for what is referred to as the “double winners.” The addiction counselor may suggest supportive resources in the form of reading material and books.

The Ultimate Goal

Addiction counseling helps you work through the feelings that underlie all addictions – while encouraging you not to become identified with your addictions – nor to live identified with the addiction as you proceed through recovery. New healthy relationships are fostered to replace the old unhealthy ones whether they were with substances, things or people. Finally, addiction counseling teaches you to find real peace by learning to recognize the triggers that would spur a relapse. Through support via individual and group therapy along with attending 12 Step programs, cultivating hobbies, interests and healthy relationships, addiction counseling ends the vicious cycles, breaks unhealthy habits, renews your strength and faith in yourself and helps to heal your mind that thought it was helplessly imprisoned and controlled by your addictions.

Photo credit: Viktor Hanacek

August 21, 2014 by Virgil Roberson

Infidelity Counseling

When a couple’s world is shaken up and turned upside down by infidelity, the subsequent deluge of emotions may be difficult to circumvent on one’s own. During these times of immeasurable stress it can be a life saver to contact a therapist to begin infidelity counseling to assist in what can be otherwise a very long road to healing.

Save Your Other Relationships By Considering Infidelity Counseling

Expressing the feelings of betrayal, jealousy, rage, denial, confusion and grief to a non-judgmental professional within the context of infidelity counseling, rather than friends and family, can help to sort and resolve the many issues surrounding the causes and meaning behind acts of infidelity. There are the cases of repeated infidelity, conflicting feelings about hiding or revealing infidelity, guilt, anger, vengeance, blame. The difficulty in facing infidelity and all the perceptions of what it can represent – pertaining to relationships, security, attractiveness, neediness, addictions – can become too overwhelming.

Getting lost in the repetitive nightmare of betrayal thoughts, chaos, and the constant fighting that often occurs in the aftermath of incidences of infidelity, tends only to further deepen the already excruciating pain. For the sake of everyone’s health, the couple involved, their family members and their friends as well, it is wise and comforting to seek the guidance, understanding, empathy, and support of a therapeutic counseling relationship. Within the safety of the client-therapist relationship, couples and individuals can learn to communicate in new and freeing ways that work on building healthy, honest, fulfilling, real and open minded relationships. These are outcomes that are feasible and very possible once the burdens of emotional pain, resentment and betrayal have been looked at, addressed, released and resolved.

August 13, 2014 by Virgil Roberson

Empty Nest Depression

What happens to the parents left behind when the kids leave them with an empty nest? Does it feel like life is losing its center focus? How does one approach the sense of loss – of identity, of roles, of purpose, of a place in the world? The choices in which to respond may seem endless but how does one move forward when all one feels is sadness and even despair?

Empty Nest: Coming to Terms

Releasing fear and other blocks is key to proceeding so that changes in life and routines can evolve and be inspired from a calm and peaceful state of mind. Navigating this transition within the therapist-client relationship through individual or couples counseling can serve to hasten the journey through the gamut of emotions that may include fear of loneliness, panic for children going out into the world, anxiety for their and one’s own safety, as well as, boredom and unhappiness and loss of self-worth.

One cannot surmount and overcome the fears without looking at the thoughts, needs and beliefs from which they arise. The feeling of being out of control of our own and others’ lives, triggered by the changed environment and the judgments about empty nest circumstances, can leave one feeling confused, frightened and depressed about future goals and happiness.

While reasons for sadness may appear obvious and expected, the underlying assumptions and beliefs may not be as clear. In order to change the mind and gain a new perspective it may require time, discipline and dedication to explore the underlying causes for the conflicts – work that with the help of a therapist, can be more easily accomplished and achieved. Through the client-therapist relationship, beliefs and judgements that interfere with one’s advancement to peace and happiness can be examined and released to make room for healing, along with new ideas, attitudes, behaviors and goals.

Photo credit: Joshua Earle